Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Texas – Lynn Burge, 32, was arrested on Thursday after police were alerted to reports she had brought two high school pupils, aged 16 and 18, to her home after going “backroading” – driving around country roads.

Police were first alerted following reports the Texas educator first carried out the alleged sex acts on the 16-year-old last autumn, before pulling a similar stunt with an 18-year-old student in March.

Officers also acted on reports that Burge sent nude photos of herself to the pupils on Snapchat.

Following a month-long investigation in September, a Texas Ranger conducted an informal interview with her in Dallas, where she was a chaperone on a school field trip.

According to police reports, Burge admitted having sex with the 18-year-old and to sharing nude pictures of herself with the 16-year-old.

She also reportedly confessed to drinking with the 16-year-old, but sad she could not remember if they had sexed.

Ah, Texas. Good old reliable Texas. Football, BBQ and backroading blowies with your high school students. That’s. What. Texas. Does.

At the risk of stereotyping, The Lone Star State is a place of certain, unmistakable cultural archetypes. Beauty queen. Cheerleader. Country girl. Trophy wife. And to their iconic ranks we can proudly add Sex Scandal Teacher. I mean, sure, they’ve got physicists and NASA engineers and so on. It’s a big place. But when you hear the words “Texas woman,” it doesn’t immediately bring to mind some A&M coed in a lab coat holding beakers. You think pageants, football, cowgirl hats and leaving your husband and kids behind to get drunk on Fireball with a 16-year-old and banging him on the bench seat of your F-150. No wonder 7,500 Hondurans are walking 2,000 miles to get there. Who wouldn’t want to live in a place where Lynn Burge is the average teacher?

The Grades:
Looks: In maybe 48 of 50 states Lynn Burge would be a solid 7. But unfortunately she lives in a place with the highest SST standards in the nation. And I can’t stop looking at that second photo and seeing Phil Mickelson.
Grade: B-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Check more boxes why don’t you, Mrs. Burge? Two different students. Getting them drunk. Dirtroad head. Naked Snaps. So many with one kid you can’t even remember if you sent them to the other. And a full confession waaay short of ever going to court on this. That’s why you don’t mess with Texas.
Grade: A

Intangibles: Lynn Burge strikes me as a woman that has more than one definition of “backroading.”
Grade: B

Overall: B. I respect the effort. It’s not easy playing in the big leagues like she is.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.